out of sight, out of mind

2012-01-30T03:46:00.002+08:00

it feels real good to know that things are looking up for the people around me. :) :) :) they are wonderful people and do not deserve whatever happened to them. dear..... whoever responsible for this amazing change..... please keep it up!!!! :)

anyway i think i've finally found a 'cure' to my almost chronic neck ache. i think the pillows i like to sleep on are too hard and 'high' + i always sleep with my shoulders ON the pillow too which is bad (yup yup i googled for the correct posture) so........... hehehehehe i've been sleeping on softer , fluffier pillows which i frankly do not like. hopefully them stupid achess go away soon :( it's so bothersome n never fail to make me very cranky and oh my stomach hasn't been too well since the cny. think i'm suffering from food poisoning or sort but it's gettinggggggggg better so..... mmmm.......... but i kinda wish i wasn't though. not ready to go back to school to face project presentation n class test. n i needa cut down on my computer usage because it is clearly causing me aches too. sigh sigh sigh.

on another note.... i wish i could be more like my friends. the friends who are so much more easily satisfied than i am. and it ain't even because they are settling for the mediocre things. it's just me. i can be so hard to satisfied sometimes. yet i'm easily contented by the simplest things. ah, life.

anywayyyyyy, been sparing some thoughts on matters re: after diploma. stuck at the crossroad of what i want vs what i am capable of achieving. i'm also sick n tired of how i rationalize the emotions i feel. justifying them with logical reasons and whatnot. n i'm now at a debate of whether i am considering further studying overseas because it's really the only choice i have shld i want to continue law or because i just wanna escape and catch a breather. i'd say it's both, but more of the first, but i'm not too sure. but then again... if given a chance i'd choose studying biz overseas rather than at a local/private uni cos i'm really sick of this place and i'd love to spend a few years away, alone or not, and see what i'll yield thru it. baaaaaaaaaa. growing up sucks. responsibilities sucks. seeing the health of people you love deteriorate sucks.

oooo and knowing the effort you're putting in to keep up smth is not paying off or is taken for granted sucks too. and i don't like feeling like the second-best. i hate being the second-best. you're so close to being the first but you just aren't there yet cos you basically suck. i really really really don't like being the friend whom people ALWAYS remember when they are at their lowest even though it's smth to be glad about because you are at the very least remembered i guess. but just because you know i wouldn't turn my back on you at your lowest doesnt make it ok for you to turn away for 'greener pastures' at your peak and only return when you need somebody to pick you up again. sure i won't mind picking you up time after time but one day i'll get tired of your antics and leave you in the lurch and that's when you try to pull the pity card, act so victimised. i really don't like being the friend people only rmb at their lowest.

i also don't like feeling short-changed. i'd give all shit i'm doing up just to listen out to you but i don't think you'll do the same. then again people say give without hopes of receiving it back. but i don't think i'll be able to reach that level. yet. or maybe ever. there are days i feel downright horrible and i don't know who to turn to even though i know there are people who will listen out. i just don't know how to start the topic. it feels really awkward and selfish to be talking about my own troubles when everyone have their own. so i always end up saying hi n change the topic to something else before eventually ending the conversation. don't like talking about my (real) troubles.... but i also don't like having to keep it all in. hahahahahaha.

anyway i'm finally done with my work. it's close to 4 now. 3:46am? :) -oooo the chunk above are all typed hours hours hours ago- two project submission tomorrow! tiring!! have to rush powerpoint n discuss roleplay for tues. sigh! mad rush. on wed it's class test!!!!!! wanted to spend my sunday revisingggggggg but i guess i've to shelve it off until tues night. hahaha :'(

2012-01-28T03:15:00.000+08:00

Dear Santa... I am aware it is only January... But...

****

2012-01-27T17:54:00.001+08:00

This is one game I know I won't lose.

2012-01-27T17:50:00.001+08:00

Teaching me lessons I don't wanna learn.

Fear

2012-01-27T03:04:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile since I last felt so afraid. For the first time in a long, long time, I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed real tight. Tide me through this storm... please... I beg.

Fear... it creep in like a thief and keep me wide awake at night.

Fear... it keep me on my feet.

We were dancing all night then they took you away, stole you out of my life.

2012-01-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

2012-01-25T20:11:00.000+08:00

2012-01-25T00:21:00.002+08:00

Why do we want what we know we can't have?

2012-01-24T13:44:00.001+08:00

MY STOMACH NEED TO CHILL.

2012-01-24T12:55:00.000+08:00

Now that all is said and done, I only have 1 question to ask. Is it even worth it?

2012-01-24T00:29:00.001+08:00

Craving for chunky mashed potatoes!!!

Mixed feeling about the new year.

Feeling the blues.

2012-01-23T14:36:00.000+08:00

Counting my blessings

2012-01-22T19:25:00.003+08:00

This CNY I count my blessings.

Genuinely thankful for my 1) family (even more thankful that they are all healthy and fine, and still by my side), 2) friends who stood by my side, heard me out, no judging, 3) friendships which withstood the test of time and only grew stronger, 4) the foe-turned-friends, 5) fridayloves who taught me so much and showed me so much love, always being my pillar of support, 6) puddycakes who always make an effort to catch up on each other, also the friends who watched me, as well as each other, go through multiple transitions in life, plus we've been friends for over 12 years!!!

Bucket List

2012-01-22T18:08:00.000+08:00

Go skydiving
Learn how to swim then go scuba diving

JOAN JETT AND THE BLACKHEARTS

2012-01-22T01:43:00.001+08:00

I WANNA WALK BUT I RUN BACK TO YOU, THAT'S WHY I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU.

LAST CHRISTMAS: My Secret Santa / My Secret Santee

2012-01-21T20:09:00.001+08:00

2012-01-18T19:14:00.000+08:00

Ellice: Every year it's the same. All of us will be raging over some report.

Corn: But no matter how crazy, we always pull through fine.

Thankful for my Friday Lovelies.

2012-01-18T03:28:00.001+08:00

2012-01-18T02:41:00.002+08:00

I am appalled at my gross lack of knowledge when it comes to doing legal opinion.

2012-01-17T13:48:00.001+08:00

Heart and brain is a mess and so, so, so worn out. This is one hell of a hectic week I need to pull through. So thankful for the lovely people in my life who makes life so much more bearable for me. :)

15th

2012-01-17T13:35:00.003+08:00

Sunday night saw me and my girlf sitting by the bay, talking about the same old thing even though we clearly have better things to do the next morning... like going to school to save our sorry asses from getting barred from exams or studying for a test filled with science-y jargons which makes up a part of 45% of my grade.

Oh dark night and broken hearts... Why do things have to be so difficult?

The whole truth and nothing but the truth.

2012-01-16T06:15:00.001+08:00

2012-01-15T19:35:00.001+08:00

i
can't
fathom
this

Friday the 13th came one day late for me.

2012-01-14T23:25:00.000+08:00

I used to think love was pathetic. That it was for fools and people who couldn’t survive without another. Then I met you and I became pathetic.

2012-01-14T15:13:00.002+08:00

- Dear Old Love

2012-01-14T02:55:00.003+08:00

2012-01-13T12:39:00.001+08:00

☠☠☠ Baring your heart out leads to nothing but trouble ☠☠☠ I miss me; the one without a care in the world.

2012-01-11T23:20:00.002+08:00

Squealing in excitement over the sheer probability of catching Rachael Yamagata live! So happy that I twirled around.
Felt the world caving in on me when I read the first line of the last chapter of Norwegian Wood. I'm not even kidding man. And I hate that ache/loss you get whenever you finish a book. Remained moody for the rest of the day, as if I lost something precious, which I think I did.
Love how my head is filled with happy thoughts nowadays. When life is all good like this, I can't help but agree on how happiness really is a choice but... mmm... happy times... they really don't last!!! They don't, and they shouldn't. There should be a balance! To keep us on our feets.
Oh scratch the above... I hate how you still hold the power to destroy me after all these years.

2012-01-11T17:16:00.000+08:00

I could be yelling, screaming, grasping for air and you wouldn't even save me because you're so blinded to see my pain.

2012-01-11T15:31:00.001+08:00

Can't get through the last chapter without tears welling up in my eyes.

2012-01-10T23:16:00.001+08:00

I want to hear Rachael Yamagata live SO bad.

2012-01-10T21:40:00.001+08:00

Now now... Who gives a shit about a sucky hair-cut! Kind words from friends + Hilarious OB lecturer + Short lunch with FridayLoves (Absent: Cornelius, but we missed ya) + Time spent wandering around town with Ellice (which includes A&F dude + Sour Sally + Salmon Pepper Rice) TOTALLY made up for it.

TGIF: Thank God for the Incredibly awesome Friends!

2012-01-10T13:36:00.001+08:00

I think my iPod knows that I'm sad. It's playing all the songs I love.

CNY hair cut disaster.

I need a hug. Right now. Pronto.

24th October 2011

2012-01-10T12:12:00.001+08:00

I'm no stranger to late nights but lately I'm often kept awake for the wrong reasons. Instead of pondering over the usual stuff, I find myself immersed in the unhappiest of thoughts and I really don't like that.

Unhappy thoughts inevitably leave me unhappy and even though I don't stay that way for long, I can't lie or deny the after-effect it brings along.

I feel absolutely drained out of energy even though I may have just woken up from some crazy >12 hours sleep.

I wake up groggy and moody, despondent and disappointed. I'll be okay for a good few hours and then it's back to that groggy, moody me after that. Kind of like a cycle. And I feel quite helpless because I honestly have no control over my emotions. I keep feeding myself happy thoughts and encouragement but things don't work this way, or do they? Then I get even upset when I realize how my moods cause me to unintentionally ignore the people who means a great deal to me. Ah, I swear I didn't mean to shut you out or make you feel ignored. And I'm not holding any anger, grudge or sorts against you.

Just hoping that the people I truly truly love and truly truly treasure may somehow chance upon this and don't hold it/whatever I unintentionally made them feel too personally. I just wanna be alone for a moment or two. Here's a fat heart and hug for you all. <3

Even if I don't

2012-01-08T03:53:00.001+08:00

I miss you most in the morning / Most every morning / I wake up thinking I could call, I could come visit, I could come running, we could relive it / But when I think of all that we've been through / Going back to you seems such a foolish thing to do / I hope you know that even if I don't, I wanted to / All those words you said at the ending were pretty revealing and I can't forget them / All those ways we missed at connecting despite all our trying it always came back to what I couldn't give you / So when I think of starting up again, or trying to be friends, it seems impossible to do / I hope you know that even if we can't, I wanted to / Who knows why two people perfectly aligned should ever have to find themselves apart / I'll never understand my heart / I miss you most in the morning / Most every morning / I wake up crying

The best things in life don't come for free but I'll go the distance if it brings you back to me / I only need a map of where you are, there'll never be a place that is too far

2012-01-08T03:49:00.000+08:00

You and I were partners in crime, petty thieves in a line up, but somehow we wound up here.

2012-01-07T17:43:00.002+08:00

It was like a time bomb set into motion
We knew that we were destined to explode
And if I have to pull you out of the wreckage
You know I'm never gonna let you go

"Look, the world is an inherently unfair place. I didn't write the rules. It's always been that way. I have never once deceived Hatsumi. She knows I'm a shit and that she can leave whenever she decides she can't take it. I told her that straight from the start."

2012-01-07T12:11:00.000+08:00

Finally picked up my half-read book.

Ignorance is a disease

2012-01-05T19:06:00.002+08:00

Surely you are entitled to your own opinion and I am entitled to think that you're nothing but an ignorant fool when you proudly stake claims based on inaccurate and inconclusive evidence.

P.S. I feel a little angry with myself for letting it bother me.

Thoughts

2012-01-02T08:44:00.001+08:00

Went from reading dream interpretations re: death to reading about amputations. Sigh. Humans are really really really fragile.

I wish people would stop taking good health (alongside with other things) for granted. Or worse, do things which they know for a fact will harm their body.

Pleaseeeeee. Be grateful that you're alive, even though some days are living hell.

Be grateful that you can see, hear, touch, feel, smell, walk; not confined in a wheelchair or laying paralyzed on a hospital bed.

Be grateful you're not deformed in any way. Forget about how "un-pretty" you think you are and appreciate every inch of you. Before you get all displeased with how you look, be thankful that nobody has maliciously splashed you or your face with acid. :/

Be grateful you're not afflicted with any disease. Some kids are born with deadly diseases such as HIV; they live only to suffer all sorts of pain before they finally wilt away and die.

Be grateful you're not born with or suffering from any mental disability. You are sane. You are able to think, make simple calculations and analyze situations. So what if you aren't as smart as the next person is?

Be grateful you have a roof over your head, or a bed to sleep on. At least you're not out in the cold, seeking shelter under the bridge, at a bus stop, in the forest, on the streets.

Be grateful you have food to keep your stomach filled, even though the food may have sucked in your opinion. There are little kids out there scavenging for junks, literally.

Be grateful you have a family to bicker with or annoy the shit out of, however broken it is. I know of people who are abandoned at birth, people who lost their family to disasters, people who watched their loved ones die before them.

Be grateful you even have a pal, or somebody/something in your life worth living for, the abandoned are all alone, with no one by their side.

Be grateful even if you have only a dollar to spare, some people have none; many slog their guts out in the harsh for a measly pay of $1 per day to feed their ENTIRE family and you sit in your air conditioned room complaining and fretting over how $500 isn't enough to last you a month.

Boohoo. Why is it that some of us are really hard to satisfy even though we are blessed with health, shelter and some wealth (as in enough $ to get by)? We tend to pick on the littlest thing to be unhappy about. Turn all bratty and compare with the ones who "have it better". And momentarily forget about the ones who are so much worse off than us.

Ironically the ones who are supposedly "worse off" are the ones who live a happier and much satisfying life than most of us.

Not sure if I'm making sense to whoever that is reading.. Oh wells. Time for bed. :)

I hope you like the stars I stole for you, one hundred million twinkle lights in neon blue.

2012-01-01T07:20:00.001+08:00

When it's over I'll count back from ten, and you can listen to glass hearts shattering

2012-01-01T07:17:00.001+08:00

2011-12-31T01:09:00.002+08:00

My heart is yours to crush.

Sunshine, there aint a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night.

2011-12-30T01:14:00.001+08:00

Hold my heart it's beating for you anyway.

On the 29th

2011-12-30T01:14:00.000+08:00

I HATE THE NEW BLOGGER LAYOUT! But that's not the point.

So I met my fellow frilovelies this evening for our annual (albeit belated) Christmas gathering!!! Thank you Jess for "opening up" your house to us and a big big thank you to her family for preparing most of the food + her dad opened red and white wine for us! Also, Zhizhi being the Zhizhi we know, sourced for the best deal and bought plus collected turkey on our behalf! Corn too made us his signature Rocky Road for desserts. I LOVE YOU ALL!

We all played Secret Santa this year and the gift buying part was quite fun and enjoyable. Or at least I had fun trying to fish information out from my santee which is JESSICA!!! Everyone were super hush hush about who is their santee but guess what! I'm Jess's santee! Thank you dear and I hope you like what I got you!:D

Now now, I can't wait for school to start! So I can see my frilovelies + have biz park prawn mee during break. I LOVE PRAWN MEE. PRAWN MEE FOR LIFE.
Time to shower!!!!

P.S. Thank you Zhizhi, Corn and Jess for the gifts/souvenirs!

P.P.S. Will try to 'kope' pictures in awhile.

2011-12-28T15:08:00.001+08:00

No idea why you stick around when you clearly can find someone else better w/o breaking a sweat. With that said, I'm thankful you're still here. :) :) :)

2011-12-27T03:19:00.005+08:00

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹
< 1 week before school reopen but there's a already whole lot of work waiting for us to ocmplete

- coy law report 20 jan
- ob report 30 jan
- bnu report 30 jan
- conveyancing role-play 4jan

sigh

why can't i just h i b e r n a t e for the whole of this holiday

Happy Holidays

2011-12-24T05:52:00.011+08:00

i am confused as to how i should feel
about yet another year ending so soon

time flies;
we are all growing up
at this crazily fast pace which i have yet to get accustomed to
(even after all these years)

true, this year flew by
and some days were a living hell for me
but i sure was blessed
to have the many people in my life
who never fail to turn my day around
saving me, time after time, in ways they don't even realize

and it seems that with age come insights
or maybe because this time round,
i spent most of my time watching from the sideline
so i got a clearer picture of almost everything

sure, there are things i still don't get
and probably never will
but what i sought to know have all been answered
in a miraculous fashion
and i cannot be more thankful for that

here's to a better, more enriching 2012 ;)

lesson learnt / note to self:

things happen for a reason
mourn over your loss if you must, but don't forget to get back on your feet
people disappoint, get the hell over that
some things aren't worth fighting for, so know when to let go
save yourself the trouble, the truth will unveil itself in time to come, you will see
don't be so hard on yourself
the people who truly care will love you anyway
first impressions aren't always right, the most unexpected person may just surprise you
take life one day at a time

p.s. i miss being a child

You knew it was wrong. But you went ahead and did it anyway. That says a lot about you.

2011-12-24T05:14:00.010+08:00

My friend.

2011-12-24T04:54:00.005+08:00

2011-12-22T05:19:00.017+08:00

movie: mission impossible
signed up for ocbc frank card, what a mistake
club hop
yummmmmmm
looking forward to meeting my frilove n puddycakes!!!
feels good to see faces i haven't seen in a long time
+ saw kel's gf
gonna shower soon then it's bed time

many things to do but too little time

+ attendance warning letters are here

mummy was kind of annoyed

Feet don't fail me now, take me to the finish line

2011-12-18T10:36:00.001+08:00

I feel so alone on a friday night
Can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you're mine

7:56AM

2011-12-18T07:55:00.006+08:00

Good morning!
Enjoying the lovely Sunday morning air!

It's true, people change.

And sometimes people grow apart.

***

For all you know
2011 may just end on a good note
(for me)

And maybe with a cherry on top

I'm grateful

Gonna utilize the remaining 14 days of holidays well

***

I guess I'll just give up

Give up trying

2011-12-17T15:13:00.007+08:00

What can beat staying home on a rainy weekend, listening to Frankie Valli, Stevie Wonder, George Benson and Lionel Richie?

Simplicity brings you happiness.

2011-12-16T20:10:00.004+08:00

We're all kinds of different but that's what I like about us.

6:01PM

2011-12-16T18:19:00.001+08:00

"Try recalling the good times you had. It makes me feel better. Showing affection comes in different forms I guess, some form feels much inferior then others though."

2011-12-15T18:13:00.007+08:00

2011-12-14T01:26:00.002+08:00

1:27am

I can't remember a thing for Conveyancing.

My paper's at 11am.

Even God can't save me.

2011-12-13T21:59:00.006+08:00

Clears Eyes Full Hearts Can't Lose

2011-12-12T04:48:00.001+08:00

I have absolutely no intention to jinx the coming new year but 2012 looks promising!!! I'm finally seeing a glimpse of hope... Maybe dreams do come true after all? Mmm, we shall see.

2011-12-10T19:03:00.000+08:00

Maybe we can take our chances, or
Maybe we can see what's on your mind
I wonder if we look inside our hearts
exactly what we'd find

Or maybe we could take a lot of pain away,
Yeah yeah
Or maybe we could heal the world today
Or maybe you know something I don't
If you do then don't leave

...
Where do we go from here?
God only knows.

2011-12-07T21:59:00.012+08:00

Had a happy day with Isaac + Jasper + Jes. "Already Famous" was unexpectedly heartwarming and inspiring. :) I love how dinner tasted so home-cooked (I also love night walks home with Isaac).
Today's one of the better days I have had in months - for once I managed to toss my temporary troubles to the back of my head. No worries, no nothing.
My day was made even better when I came home to soy milk and tau huey from my favourite store.
And oh! Today's Conveyancing lesson ended in 30 minutes. I love my tutor. (Nope, I am not saying it just because she ended the class early. She's a really good teacher.)
+ I finally gotten a chance to pen down my wishes on THE white ball which will be released at the end of 2011!!! I have been wanting to do that for the longest time.
Time to give Company Law mock online quiz another try!
God bless me and all others who are taking their mid-sem tests now/soon.

3:04AM

2011-12-07T02:53:00.011+08:00

I was about to say how I can't wait for Friday to here despite the next week to be our mid-sem test week... then I remember I have to go back to school on Saturday morning for Basics of Nutrition paper.

What a joy killer.

Anyway... Hello Wednesday, my shortest school day.

Time for bed. Hopefully.

Fingers crossed for Company Law quiz and Basics of Nutrition project consultation on Thursday.

Mood lately: Absolutely bummed

Meet Feafea:

2011-12-06T01:59:00.005+08:00

2011-12-02T22:47:00.007+08:00

And tonight I count my blessings and lucky stars. Thankful for the ones who stuck by throughout the years.

2011-11-30T19:40:00.007+08:00

Well, I try to put your stories in line
But nothing adds up right

For every 99 times
You looked me in the eye,
You looked me in the eye
And swore you weren't lying
Well, I was so blind
I never saw the signs

What kind of heart doesn't look back?

2011-11-29T23:11:00.016+08:00

Week 32 of school and only 11 more to go before I bid to good bye to this seemingly horrendous academic year.

On another note, I am real glad that November is FINALLY coming to an end! The only few happy things worth remembering would probably be 1) passing of the 2 year mark with dearrrrrr Isaac 2) trip to Bangkok with my dear family (even though things took a real bad twist). But wait, that's just TWO things... not even enough to meet "few".

-___-

Anyway! I should really go offline and maybe, just maybe, turn in earlier to avoid an embarassment like this morning where I ran > fell > landed in an awkward kneeling-down position with a bus one-third filled with commuters watching on. I had a great laugh at myself after that though. I don't think I can ever get over the epic face on both the bus driver and the dude who was just in front of me. It didn't hurt too bad at that moment but I am starting to feel the pain from the still-hidden bruises. What a real clumsy girl I am. Teehee, just the way Lensen likes to describe me. :)

Despite all the complaints I may have made regarding my naughty little brother, or the harsh words I have repeatedly slashed out on him, I really love this baby brother of mine. His annoying laughter brought me this comfort which no one else is able to provide when I came back home earlier on, jaded and worn-out to the bone

XOXO

OK. LAST NOTE!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS!!! Playing Secret Santa with fridayl♥velies!!!!!!

Bits and Pieces

2011-11-29T21:39:00.011+08:00

2011-11-27T21:06:00.005+08:00

Brilliant line I overheard from the Ratatouille movie that the brother is watching now on Disney Channel: The truth sounds insane sometimes but that doesn't mean it's not (the truth).

Bangkok (24 Nov - 27 Nov)

2011-11-27T20:09:00.018+08:00

But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

2011-11-22T13:24:00.002+08:00

You didn't have to stoop so low.

【那些年，我們一起追的女孩】

2011-11-22T11:16:00.003+08:00

也許那一個平行時空裏我們是在一起的

2011-11-20T19:44:00.003+08:00

Come what may, I'll love you till the end of time.

1 month too late

2011-11-19T06:17:00.011+08:00

I was surpised and baffled at the same time by how I actually chose to do nothing and just let that statement about you fade us by, fade me by... and die right before the conversation get too far, too out of control. But the reason gradually dawned upon me. It was because deep inside I know an inch of truth lies in that allegation of his. An inch of truth about someone I thought I knew inside out, through and through.

The old me would have fend for you with all my might but the new me know better that you don't care.

I loved you yesterday and yesterday's gone.

2011-11-18T19:55:00.002+08:00

Norwegian Wood

2011-11-16T20:09:00.002+08:00

Once, long ago, when I was still young, when the memories were far more vivid than they are now, I often tried to write about her. But I couldn't produce a line. I knew that if that first line would come, the rest would pour itself onto the page, but I could never make it happen. Everything was too sharp and clear, so that I could never tell where to start - the way a map that shows too much for sometimes be useless.

2011-11-16T01:40:00.004+08:00

It's okay to dwell on sadness a little longer than you should.

2011-11-13T16:35:00.004+08:00

This is not fair, I am beyond repair cause of you

TGIF

2011-11-11T21:04:00.011+08:00

This afternoon's conveyancing lab session was a breeze, much unlike the previous one where I almost had a nervous breakdown because I couldn't seem to get work done. (Really thankful that it turned out okay in the end.) Today's probably the best day I've had in weeks. But last night, last night was a complete nightmare.

3 Notes 1 Instructions

2011-11-11T13:58:00.013+08:00

Last night I went to bed drenched in this sadness I wish I never have to feel again. I have had worse times but last night was just awful. I thought I'd wake up and find my heart in pieces like how it always play out in the morning but I guess today's just different. You know what? I dreamt of you again. It was a sad, sad dream, but beautiful nonetheless. That, my dear, that was the closest I've ever get to you, and I guess, the closest I'll ever get to you. The dream felt so real it kept me wondering if you dreamt the same dream I dreamt. Those words were just what I have always wanted to say to you, and the words which came out of your mouth were exactly what my ears have been longing to hear... and all the words intentionally left unsaid were the words which hurt too much for me to speak of.

I asked for a sign last night before I slumbered into a deep sleep and I guess this is it - a sign for closure, a sign asking to move on. It really is good bye this time round isn't it?

Till fate bring us back again.

2011-11-09T23:58:00.003+08:00

14 more weeks to go. Pull me through this. Please.

Baby, you don't know me.

2011-11-07T23:59:00.004+08:00

2011-11-06T23:07:00.005+08:00

Independence comes with a heavy price tag.

Run, run, run, run, run

2011-11-05T00:22:00.036+08:00

Had lunch at Buddy Hoagies with the usual lovelies before heading to school for 4 straight hours of Conveyancing which I SWEAR drove me mad.Managed to cast school work aside (temporarily) when Jolyn and I headed to Timbre at Old School in the night.

This world we live in is truly small and believe it or not/like it or not, we are all so alike. It could be in terms of personality, appearance, or maybe encounters. But am I supposed to seek solacement in the fact that someone out there once suffered the same fate I did...? Because that's just sad.

On a lighter note... Cornelius was the first (and will most probably be the only) person which came to my mind when the live band played Creep by Radiohead. Love them frilove.

11:33PM

2011-11-02T22:58:00.009+08:00

TODAY HAS BEEN... Strangely peaceful.

I AM... Not one to believe in miracles or anything of the sort but today I found myself having my every prayer answered and I am genuinely thankful for that.

I HAD... My favourite aglio olio pasta for early dinner but it sucked. Too spicy and too bland.

I FEEL... Wrung out with fatigue but that's okay for my biological clock is now in the midst of adjusting to that of a normal human being's.

I CAUGHT... In Time! Amanda Seyfried is too gorgeous for words. I really love her hairdo and make-up in the movie. I swear it was made for her man.

I CAN'T WAIT... For the weekends to be here!

THIS IS IRRELEVANT BUT... I love it when I receive smiles from the most unexpected person!

Page 92

2011-11-02T22:28:00.004+08:00

“You are very clear about what you like and what you don’t like,” she said.

“Maybe so,” I said. “Maybe that’s why people don’t like me. Never have.”

“It’s because you show it,” she said. “You make it obvious you don’t care whether people like you or not. That makes some people angry.”

2011-10-31T00:28:00.007+08:00

Why ask at all when you are adamant about changing your ways and is going to great lengths to validate your actions? I know what you're after, I know what words your ears long to hear but no, I am not gonna give you the limelight you crave for ever so badly.

5:09AM

2011-10-30T04:59:00.014+08:00

Most of the times I sit in silence, half-hoping that my thoughts don't devour me alive. The other half of me have long given up hopes. What my mind is capable of conjuring scares me to my wits. Amidst a happy conversation where everyone is joyful and laughing I find myself grappling with my darkest of thoughts and before I know it, words laced with pessimism are spurted out of my mouth. I just can't help myself.

Manhattan Fish Market

2011-10-29T19:29:00.016+08:00

Finally got the chance to meet up with Jasper alongside with Germin and Pei Yi after what seemed like forever!!! Since forever don't quite exist, I shall not lie and just tell you the truth - it took us THREE freaking years to properly meet him again! YEARS, NOT MONTHS, NOT WEEKS. Glad that there weren't awkward pauses or silence and we STILL have that much topics to talk about.

Apart from catching up with three years worth of each other's life we missed out, I think our conversations mostly revolved around (laughing at) the silly decisions we all once made and reminiscing about the good old times.

I'm already anticipating our next meet-up!

P.S. I ate my greens. Isaac would be proud to know.

In a bad way

2011-10-28T16:25:00.001+08:00

Saw it coming but still caught me by surprise. Every time.

6:47AM

2011-10-27T06:47:00.003+08:00

'First' day of school LET'S GO.

Must survive the day despite 0 sleep.

Red Mango / Crust

2011-10-26T22:41:00.020+08:00

2011-10-24T00:48:00.002+08:00

2011-10-22T02:25:00.002+08:00

Bless your soul, you got your head in the clouds
You made a fool out of me and, boy, I'm bringing you down
You made my heart melt yet I'm cold to the core
But rumour has it I'm the one you're leaving her for

All about Eggs

2011-10-19T23:11:00.026+08:00

2011-10-18T23:29:00.002+08:00

The sky is blue.

Laughter, hearts, atmospheres

2011-10-17T23:18:00.001+08:00

2011-10-17T17:21:00.000+08:00

“That's what you do right? Anything you don't need, you throw away.” ~ Max Kenton to Charlie Kenton in Real Steel (2011)

Unthinkable by Hobbie Stuart

2011-10-16T21:54:00.005+08:00

4:48AM

2011-10-13T04:45:00.001+08:00

“I may not be able to fly there like superman and set things right but I will be patient enough to listen.”

Always nice to know. Thank you. :)